We age. We grow old. We run out of time. Some of us age like the finest wine while some of us age like an untreated wound. And why is it so?
As John Lennon wrote "Happiness is a warm gun", in my opinion it's only happiness that can help us age in a graceful way. From time immemorial, humans have tried so hard to find out formulas which can help us age more gradually than the obvious. Or if I might say humans have tried out ways to lessen the effects of ageing in one way or the other. One of the very few inferences that I've arrived at is that we always try to cut down the negatives so as to eliminate their presence. The conclusion to this is a mere simple derivation from innumerable happenings everyday. When we try to advance in any field, after a certain threshold our hunger grows and we tend to forget that with every mile we progress, we lose out on the fuel to do so. The energy we put on to prove something is the same energy we lose out in proving that. I wouldn't undermine the significance of the previous statement by giving examples that aren't worth it. Rather I'd like to differentiate the word happiness into its truer sense.
Let's take happiness to be a key parameter in our life that determines our current state of mind. Everything that happens according to our wishes or likes gives us happiness. And our wishes and likes are the things that we want to happen so that whatever we don't like doesn't happen. Now, in this process we expect that an alteration to our wishes or likes shouldn't happen. And whenever we tend to the results of this thought process in infinitesimally small steps, we get trapped in an indeterminate loop that can't be solved by L'Hôpital's rule. And this loop would break every possibility of our happiness.
Linking ageing to happiness is what I started this discussion with. And I cannot do anything to avoid it. Or can I? Am I slave to my thoughts? Do my wishes tame me to such an extent that I attach my happiness to it?
I think that to wish and to like and to dream is very very fine. But to attach your worth to everything that you wish to happen is meaningless.
What if I gain much just to fear that I'll lose it eventually. What happiness does it come with? Nothing I say.
If I am ready to lose everything I have despite working beyond boundaries, only then can I be free from the web of attaching my gains to my worth.
We can only age gracefully if we don't attach the worth of our life to whatever our life can't be matched with.
Great men have always had immense respect for their parents. In the process of raising children, parents sacrifice so much that when the kids grow up to take mammoth responsibilities in an ever evolving world, they start realising the pain that their parents have gone through to see them where they are, in such towering positions.
I wouldn't name any great man for obvious reasons, but they do so much for their parents, to see them smile, to make them feel special. We owe every bit of what we are to our parents. Maybe they're tough on us at times, but all who have a healthy relation with their parents, this would be quite relatable. They wanna see their kids become successful and they can give everything that is in their capacities to see them grow.
And now coming to the point of whether parenting can be accredited to some gender specific causalities. No.
A mother has intimacy to her child and this is true for she bears it in her womb and goes through so much pain that the process prepares her for. But when it comes to a father, even if dads are in general a bit on less emotional periphery, yet they definitely try their best.
As a responsible kid who has a healthy relation with his or her parents, it is upon us to value our moments with them. We owe them so much, almost everything that we become in the later part of our lives. Definitely I can't say this for countries in the western parts of this globe, cause I am not one from there, but if I say for India, it's mostly that we should give our best to see them smile.
It's priceless that some of us still have our families with us and we can dine with them or we can speak to them at the day's end or we can share whatever's necessary or unnecessary or we can feel their presence with us. And I believe that to value anything of such sort, we must ponder upon the fact that how privileged are we as individuals to be blessed by them, supported by them and often guided by them too
Before the bell rang once again my tiffin box was empty, just like her startled eyes at the very moment when she was asked to read from "The Canterville Ghost" after Bebo was asked to stop. She was definitely not listening to the reader, leave alone comprehending. But, I couldn't stop myself from helping her, because before she was asked to stand up, she was laughing at the joke I had cracked about Alivia Ma'am. With the aloo parantha stuffed in my mouth, I whispered, "page 7, last line". And she hurried through the pages and started with a bang! Oh my God, her voice was dulcet. All the guys who were sleeping woke up to gaze at her. There was no Act-II popcorn to enjoy the show. Ma'am warned her, but who cares? Hurray, it was tiffin break. The drumbeats over the desks, paper ball showers, rush in the corridors, cacophonous primary wing - the effect was increase in entropy. It was endless fun, smiles, it was a merry ride, except exams I understand, haha! But this is not about Trisha's voice or Bebo's blabbering. This is about a mere box. The box that kept me awake till the end of the fourth period. The box that instantly brought a spark in every kid's face. The box that felt like a drop of home even in the distant desert, the harsh cold or amidst the traffic.
I am not talking about Sunfeast Mom's Magic, Maggi Magic masala or Magic Moments! I am talking about the brand we all carried. It's THE TIFFIN. Do you remember those days? Or do you still carry one to the JEE, CA, UPSC coaching or to your job? I carry the box still. Now the difference hits hard. Since the day I stepped out of home, I miss mum's roti tadka or chowmein. These days it's either fruits or light snacks. During the lockdown I had bought Borosil lunch box as I had to carry lunch during the long 12 hour shifts. And what to complain about the cook's meals. Ahh! sometimes it's too oily. The idea of marriage sometimes knocks my mind too, not often like you all, sometimes, rarely when I miss that taste and love. I mean I don't miss love in general, here I wink.
For years, this box not only carries food, but emotions. For a kid, it might be the colours over the box, but for us it's an escape. The tiffin break is when a million ideas bloom, a million thoughts run the circus in any milieu. It also reveals the relations we have, we share. As humans we have a basic instinct to compete. Do you compete while you offer your bestie a breadcrumb? Get a checkup if you do. The happiness is never unaccommodating. It drowns us all, me and you.